I don’t carry many belongings, but my mental space looks like a hoarder’s palace. I often find myself staring into an abyss full of chaos, wondering what of all that clutter is an important part of me, and what is just noise that slipped in unwelcome. If I find the difference, I can know what to let go of, and what to make room for growing. But that answer lurks in the foundation, and it takes energy to shake it up. I felt I had no energy… or foundation.
For years I felt that I had no roots, or worse, that I had cut them all. Never knowing where I am standing, or what equipment I count on to face the storms. Fragile, insecure, erratic.
With time and work I understood that I did have roots, but to see them I had to lift them from the ground – and put up with whatever I found. The first thing I saw was the rotted. I got scared, Would I have to cut everything and be adrift again?
With more work and patience I recognized a pair of healthy roots, dangling to the side as thin as a hair. But it was something. And as tiny as they looked, they carried all the nutrients that kept me going. They deserved more love.
This last image came to my mind as I was literally in the air, flying to L.A., thinking of my sister who just got out of surgery 20.000 km. away from me. It has to do with so many things, I had to draw to take a step back and see what was it about. By doing so, I found the words I needed to finish the zine I had started months ago (previous image).
*This article first appeared in my newsletter: 01/02/2022 – Befriend Movement | Animalito’s Stories #8
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